Klamath burrow, May the 21st, 2412

Dear Jim,

Many thanks for your letter. It arrived last week, and I can tell you that nothing makes your father's heart happier than to get a letter from his son, a letter in which every page proclaims that you are well, that you are enjoying your work and that you are using your talents to the full.

Naturally, I was particularly interested in the archeological discoveries that you reported. Your work in order to discover the real causes for the Great Catastrophe is so important that it is even worth the dangers to your health and sanity that life in the city entails. The sooner we discover what went wrong, the sooner we can put things right, the sooner we can live and work above ground instead of in the dank, cramped burrows which the Great Catastrophe has forced us to call home. That's why the money that the Society for Real History has invested in your archeological research might turn out to be the most worthwhile investment mankind has ever made.

However, we must not let our enthusiasm to uncover the causes of the Great Catastrophe cloud our judgement. And I am afraid that that is exactly what has happened to you. Because the document you discovered cannot be the genuine account of the end of civilization, no matter how convincing it seems. The document you discovered and sent to me is nothing more and nothing less than mythology; it is a story that people invented in order to explain the inexplicable, and it has nothing to do with the truth. I know you will be surprised at these conclusions, but believe me, anybody who makes a scientific analysis of the document would come to the same judgement. I shall present my case.

Your document says that it all started in a country called the Soviet Union, which was then headed by a guy called Andropov. In that country, they developed a set of biological weapons. Mild stuff mostly, because the basic intention was to incapacitate enemy troops temporarily. So they invented something to give you acute diarrhea, and improved on the classic leprosy bacteria so that it damaged nerve tissue in days instead of years.

Unfortunately, this technology found it's way into the hands of Saddam Hussein, who was the boss in a place called Bagdad. He adapted the technology, making the leprosy attack normal tissue as well as nerve tissue, and added a new component that made people temporarily insane. But he never seriously intended to use it, because he didn't have antidotes. All he wanted was something to threaten his enemies, namely President Gore, living in Washington in a country known as US (?) and Premier Putin of Russia.

However, unbeknown to Saddam, his son Udai had gotten hold of a sample, and used it on his father. Saddam, whilst temporarily insane, released the diseases into the environment by all the foul means available to him.

This resulted in resulted in combined pandemics of Red Flood, lightning leprosy and Instant Madness. It was the Red Flood that resulted in the other disease being transmitted so readily, and it was the Instant Madness that lead people to destroy everything they saw, and then go on to other places, spreading the diseases wherever they went. And it was the leprosy that ultimately killed them, those that didn't die in the wild orgy of violence that the madness brought with it, that is.

Now why is this mythology, you might ask. The answer is simple: in mythology, the names of characters and places symbolize their role in the story, whereas in real life they have nothing to do with each other. For example, the bible is full of symbolic names, from Adam all the way through to Jesus. Which is why, of course, the Society for Real History doesn't believe it, even though it was the only book which the Survivors were allowed to take with them into the first burrows, and still is the cornerstone of burrow society.

To start off, let's take a look at Putin, who lived in Moscow, in Russia.

Moscow (must go), Russia (rushing), Putin (pooh tin): it sounds like an acute case of diarrhea to me. But to the writers of your document, it was the first sign of Red Flood. And if you are infected with that, then the next stage is accompanied by gore and a ton of washing (Washington). US is of course just us, the writers and their community. Need I elaborate?

But your document gets worse. Saddam lived in a place called Bagdad, it claims. The associations with body bags and dead fathers are so simple that it's an insult to your intelligence. Perhaps the writers also use it to allude to Saddam's fate, namely that he was killed by his own son (Udai 'bagged' his dad); lets give them some credit for subtlety. That probably has something to do with the moral of the story - myths always have morals - which seems to me to be that fathers should curb the excesses of their sons, particularly those excesses which represent an exaggeration of characteristics that are already present in the father. By the way, there's nothing wrong with the moral. In fact, I am applying it in writing this letter (there's a subtlety for you!). It's just that it is dangerous to use a myth to convey the message, because the myth will live on long after the message has lost it's relevance.

Now we are getting on to the meatier stuff: the names of the villains of the piece. Perhaps you'll get the message if you replace their names with Sad Mad Insane and You Die Insane respectively. Obviously, that's what the writers had in mind when they wrote their myth, only that was too transparent even for them. The names evoke not just the craziness, but also the tragedy of the villains. Saddam never intended to destroy the world, but he did anyway, and in doing so he destroyed himself. Udai never thought that making his father insane would result in he himself becoming insane shortly afterwards. Ultimately, the evil in us will turn itself upon ourselves, and consume us.

The more I think about it, the more dangerous I think your document is.

It 'explains' everything, but leaves us none the wiser. In fact, it deprives us of all hope, because it tells us that there is no cure for the diseases that make life so dangerous. We of the Society for Real History have always believed that there must be a cure, because no one would release the diseases we have to cope with, unless he had a way of preventing himself from being infected. But this myth tells us that for ever more, for every moment of every day we must be careful to maintain maximum hygiene, because the slightest mistake could mean death. Do you remember Curtis Jenkins?

A month ago, he showed the first symptoms of the lightning leprosy, right in the main hall. We got to him in time, but the burrow stank of burndead for weeks afterward.

The fact that it deprives us of the hope for a better world is the reason I think we should destroy your document. Let it pass from all human memory.

After all, it doesn't deserve to exist. Even the bible is better; at least the bible doesn't deprive man of hope - in fact it offers a solution of sorts - and its use of symbolic names insults our intelligence less.

Coming from me, that's saying something.

One last fact to clinch the argument: why does the document start with Andropov? The answer is so simple, you'll wonder why you didn't think of it.

What do you think that the writers, in their primitive and uninformed imagination, thought would happen in the advanced stages of the lightning leprosy? Exactly, your hand drops off!

Apart from the names, there are of course other signs that the whole story is a fabrication. For example, Moscow is mentioned as being the capital city of the Soviet Union, but it is also the capital city of Russia.

Naturally, it can't be both. Probably the writers combined stories from two different sources into one, and failed to spot the conflict. Another problem is the lack of causal connections. Why should Bagdad have anything to do with places on the other side of the world? The document doesn't tell us, and that's probably because there is no logical reason, and the whole 'history' never happened.

Jim, my son, there is no alternative than to continue diligently with your archeology, in the hope that one day you will discover something that makes a difference, something that paves the way for real cures. The way to a better world begins with Real History, and don't you ever forget it!

In the city, everything is doubly dangerous. So be very careful with your hygiene. Don't use any surface water, unless it has been superheated for at least ten minutes. Oh dear, there I go again, telling you what you already know and practice. Fathers are like that. But we can't be too careful, really.

Fond regards,
your loving father.