Murder, Maim, Destroy
by Patrick Whittaker
CONFIDENTIAL. EYES ONLY.
Any employee found to have disclosed any part of this
document to any party without prior authorisation IN
WRITING will be instantly dismissed and prosecuted to the
full extent of the law. THIS MEANS YOU.
Introduction.
We at Wessex Kline have long been leaders in the area of
Virtual Reality (VR) games. Now we take a giant step
forward with the introduction of Maim, Mutilate and
Destroy, the first game to take advantage of Hyper Reality
(HR) technology.
HR is to VR as a jet fighter is to a donkey cart. For
the first time ever, people can now totally immerse
themselves in a Cybernetic World that feels as real as
Reality itself.
In HR, if you cut yourself, you bleed. You don't just
think you bleed, you really do bleed.
Break a bone and when you leave HR you will still have a
broken bone.
HR links the imaginary to the mundane. It dissolves the
barriers between metaphor and actuality.
Make no mistake about it : if you die in HR, you stay
dead. Even when the contacts between mind and Machine are
broken. Even when they remove your body from the HR
capsule. There is no return!
This is what makes Maim, Mutilate and Destroy a
sure-fire winner. The risks are for real!
We aim to make the casualty rate amongst participants in
the region of 50%. Market Research has shown this to be
the optimum level from a sales point of view. Odds of
50/50 are seen by the public as fair and reasonable. Any
higher than that and few people would be willing to risk
MMD. Less than 50% would diminish the daredevil element
and equally detract from sales.
However, initial tests on the beta version of MMD
indicate that the casualty rate is likely to be close to
100%. This is unacceptable and needs to be rectified
before the game can be released.
With this in mind, we are asking you to play MMD and
report back on where you consider changes can be made to
reduce the risks involved in the game. The next of kin of
any member of staff not surviving MMD will receive full
death benefits and a generous lump sum to offset funeral
costs. Your co-operation is greatly appreciated.
There now follows a complete solution to Maim, Mutilate
and Destroy. This information is highly restricted.
Unauthorised disclosure will be punished.
Overview.
Upon entering Maim, Mutilate and Destroy, you find
yourself sitting at a bar. To your left sits a lizard-
like sentient being known as a Kluuga. The only other
creature present is Max, the Neanderthal Bar Man.
Before doing anything else, write down as much of this
solution as you can remember on the electropad in your
pocket. THIS IS IMPORTANT. You will soon forget all
about the world you came from and become immersed in MMD.
The notes in your electropad are your ticket home.
At the insistence of Max and the Kluuga, down a glass of
Happy Juice. You immediately forget about the world you
came from and MMD is becomes your reality.
At this point, you are aware of the following :
- 1. Your name is Maurice Mayday.
- 2. You are on Space Station Siralos, orbiting the
planet Ishtar somewhere in the Crab Nebula.
- 3. You have a microchip implanted in your skull which
contains information vital to the survival of the
human race.
- 4. You do not know what the information is.
- 5. You must get yourself and the microchip back to
Earth Grand Central as soon as possible.
- 6. There are certain parties who will stop at nothing
to destroy you.
- 7. You can trust no-one.
- 8. You have an electropad.
- 9. In your back pocket, you have a holopic of Bill
Gates, the Twentieth Century Computer Guru.
There are seven main scenes in MMD. You must visit each
one and negotiate many hazards. All scenes contain at
least one potentially fatal trap for you to fall into.
This document does not deal with every possible variation
of play. Its purpose is to outline a complete solution to
the game in order to increase your chances of survival.
Scene 1 : Space Station Siralos
Strike up a conversation with the Kluuga. It turns out he
is a travelling salesman on a galaxy-wide tour to promote
a new type of Ray Gun. Tell the Kluuga that you are
thinking of buying a Ray Gun. Taking you for a sales
prospect, the Kluuga whips out a sample case from a pouch
in his belly and hands you a gun. Set the gun to maximum
and use it on the Kluuga who lets out a ghastly scream and
turns to dust. At this point, Max the Neanderthal Bar Man
will be reaching for his own gun beneath the counter. DO
NOT SHOOT MAX! His own gun turns out to be useless as he
has not charged it for several years. Realising he is at
your mercy, Max raises his hands and smiles inanely.
Spare his life and he will become your unswerving friend
and ally (until Scene 3).
Max will tell you how he hates working as a bar tender
and dreams of seeing Earth. It transpires that he owns a
space cruiser which will get you to the nearest planet.
Accept Max's offer of a lift and follow him to the space
dock. Along the way, you will see doors with notices on
them. These notices will say things like 'STEP THIS WAY
FOR UNTOLD WEALTH' or 'FREE AND UNCOMPLICATED SEX
AVAILABLE HERE'. Ignore these signs and concentrate
solely on your mission. At the space dock, step into
Max's cruiser and secure yourself into the co-pilot's
seat. You can now rest until you reach Ishtar and a
malfunction forces Max to land in the courtyard of the
Palace of the Space Gorgons.
Scene 2 : The Palace of the Space Gorgons
As you stagger barely conscious from Max's space cruiser,
you are greeted by the three most beautiful women you have
ever encountered. One is barely past puberty. One is at
her prime. The third is old enough to be your mother but
damned attractive for all that. Their exact appearance
will depend upon your own perceptions of beauty. Do not
be fooled. What you are seeing is an illusion. These
three sisters are the infamous Space Gorgons who are
really quite hideous to behold but who can project an
image of perfect beauty into human minds. Max, who is
immune to the power of the Space Gorgons, will repeatedly
tell you that your new hosts are bewrinkled old hags with
a penchant for sucking out people's brains. LISTEN TO
HIM.
Accept the dinner invitation offered by the three
sisters. Do nothing to incur their wrath, otherwise they
will kill you there and then. Space Gorgons prefer to eat
their prey at the moment of maximum sexual arousal, but
can be very impetuous. Do your utmost to remain
impervious to their (false) charms. Try thinking about
pot noodles, underarm odour and colostomy bags. If all
else fails, look at your holopic of Bill Gates.
Dinner is in the Grand Dining Room, a pretentious affair
full of baroque statues and chandeliers. After soup, you
are served a main meal of steak, potatoes and mange tout.
Pick delicately at the vegetables but do not touch the
steak. Max eats his entire course in about ten seconds
flat. Gently refuse his request for your steak.
The sisters will opportune you in turn, each offering to
fulfil your most fervent, perverted sexual fantasies.
Tell them you are not interested and would rather lick the
sweat from a rugby player's jock strap. The Space Gorgons
eventually become exasperated and assume their true form.
A strong smell of ozone will warn you that you are about
to do this. At the first hint of ozone, cover your eyes
with the steak. Whatever you hear, do not look at the
Space Gorgons, otherwise you will be turned into a
quivering lump of jelly. In the meantime, Max - who is
immune to their power - despatches the sisters with his
steak knife. At this point, you will almost certainly
feel warm blood spraying across your face. DO NOT LOOK.
With the Space Gorgons dead, Max leads you - still
blindfolded by the steak - into a nearby antechamber
stuffed with treasure. It is now safe to remove the steak
from your eyes. Take as much gold as you can carry in
your pocket and retire to the guest's bedroom for the
night. In the morning, head for the large building at the
back of the Palace of the Space Gorgons where you will
find a sleek interstellar space yacht. Hop in and
remember to take Max with you.
You have no idea how to operate the yacht, but see a red
button marked 'DAKOS'. Make sure you and Max are securely
fastened in your seats and press the button. A whoosh
and a roar indicate you are on your way to Dakos -
whatever and wherever that may be.
Scene 3 : Punishment Planet
You land on Dakos, a god-forsaken world where the only
life form seems to be some sort of lichen. Get out of the
space yacht and run like buggery. Within a minute of your
landing, the ship is attacked and destroyed by Gowtas. A
Gowta is a giant robotic fighting machine that resembles
nothing more than a ten metre high stegosaurus. These
Gowtas are only programmed to attack mechanical objects,
so they totally ignore you and Max. But make sure they
don't trample on you. Satisfied that your ship is
completely broken down into its constituent atoms, the
Gowtas disperse, leaving you and Max alone on a granite
plain. There is no point going anywhere, so just sit down
and wait.
If after several days of gnawing hunger, hot days and
freezing nights, you are still alive, you will eventually
see a dust cloud on the horizon. Do not run or hide.
Max, at this stage, will be in a deep coma.
The cloud is raised by the hooves of some dozen
Chomblas. These are the original inhabitants of Dakos and
look like centaurs except that they have stripes. Resist
the temptation to call them Zebra Men as this seriously
pisses them off. They question you about how you got to
Dakos. Tell them everything you can, honestly and fully.
Offer them all the treasure you stole from the Space
Gorgons in exchange for being led to safety. The leader
of the Chomblas - Chukko Nar Vortex - agrees to take you
and Max to the nearest human settlement which is about a
day's ride away. Max is placed on the back of one of the
Chomblas and you mount another. Then off you go to Kae-
So-Doti - the Town in the Mountain.
When you get there, you discover that Kae-So-Doti is a
prison mine and it suddenly dawns on you that you have
heard of Dakos. It is a Penal Planet - home to the most
desperate human convicts in the galaxy. Chukko-Nar-Vortex
hands you over to the guards in exchange for a bag of
oats. Do not attempt to resist as several prison guards
will have their blasters trained at your head. Max -
being non-human - is of no interest to the guards and he
is carried away by the Chomblas, never to be seen or heard
of again.
After being stripped, deloused and given a set of
dungarees, you are led into the mines and told
emphatically that no-one has ever escaped from Kae-So-
Doti, let alone Dakos. This is not great news, but try to
despair no more than you have to. You are given an
electro-axe and put to work alongside some of the vilest,
most unsavoury psychopaths ever to grace the galaxy. Over
the next few days, you will be beaten, tortured, spat
upon, gang raped and generally given a hard time of
things. It is important that you keep your spirits up and
don't die or go raving mad. On day four, Space Marauders
attack the mine, allowing the prisoners to stage a mass
break out. The Marauders, though nominally out to loot
the mine, have been paid by persons unknown to kill you.
DO NOT FOLLOW THE OTHER PRISONERS TO THE SURFACE. Make
for Shaft # 7 and keep going downwards. If you encounter
any guards along the way, slash them to death with your
electro-axe. Be careful not to slip on any spilled
entrails.
You eventually come to a large cavern which is home to
a nest of Space Vampyres.
Scene 4 : The Space Vampyres
This being daytime, the Space Vampyres are asleep. Off to
one side, you will find a small grotto with a white
coffin. Open the coffin and you will find Thramos, King
of the Space Vampyres. Pick up Thramos and carry - or
drag - him to the far side of the cave where a beam of
sunlight is coming through a narrow shaft. The sunlight
kills and disintegrates Thramos, leaving only his clothes.
Put on the clothes and open any coffin. If the coffin is
empty, try another until you find one with a Vampyre in
it. Use your electro-axe to cut out the Vampyre's teeth.
Place the teeth in your mouth and hide in Thramos' coffin
until night-fall.
When the Space Vampyres awaken, they stand in a circle
awaiting your arrival. Walk to the middle of the circle
and look for the Vampyre whose teeth you stole. He'll be
the one holding his hand to his mouth. Denounce this
Vampyre as a toothless impostor, whereupon the other
Vampyres attack and destroy him.
One of the Vampyres says, 'I'm bloody hungry. Can we
eat yet?' Say yes and the Vampyres scurry off into the
mines to feed upon dead and dying prisoners. Nobody has
told the Space Marauders about the Vampyres so they rather
stupidly try to fight them with guns. Take advantage of
the ensuing mayhem to reach the surface and steal the
nearest Marauder fighter craft - the quaintly named 'Peggy
Sue'. As you reach the outer stratosphere, the onboard
computer asks you if you wish to stick to your flight
plan. Say yes and you are whisked away to Kinderworld.
Scene 5 : Kinderworld
For reasons as yet unknown to science, children on
Kinderworld never reach puberty and develop into full-
grown adults. Their emotional and mental maturity is
similarly stunted. Adults can survive on the planet for
no longer than 1 Kinderworld day (approx. 27 hours). The
children of Kinderworld are much the same as children
anywhere and depend on vast numbers of robots to look
after them. The planet has no government.
You land on Funfair, an island some 200 miles by 50,
given over entirely to fairground attractions. As soon as
you disembark, you are surrounded by children who demand
to be allowed on your ship. Acquiesce or they will kill
you.
The little darlings will totally trash the ship, so
you have to find another way off the planet.
Go straight to the House of Fun. Admission is free
and the queue - if any - will be small. Once you are in the
House of Fun, look out for a little girl crying. Ask her
what the matter is and she'll show you a broken dolly
called Gloria. The little girl's name is Susan. Tell her
you'll fix her dolly if she'll tell you where the nearest
spaceport is. She'll insist on taking you there herself,
but only after you've been on the Ride of Doom together.
Take Susan on the Ride of Doom and remember to keep
your head down. The ride uses real laser cannon to simulate
a space battle and the lasers are set to fire just above the
head level of a child.
After the ride, Susan takes you to the Metro Station
and helps you get a ticket to Space Grand Central. From
here on, the child is a liability so get rid of her. The
best way is to throw her dolly down a garbage chute and push
her in after it.
At SGC, you find that the only ship due to leave the
planet within the next few hours is an unmanned Cargo
Freighter. If you wait for any other craft, you will die.
The good news is that the Freighter is bound for Earth.
The bad news is that it's going via Subspace and few men
have ever survived a journey through that mysterious
realm.
A robot guards the entrance to the Space Freighter and
will not let you on. It insists only freight allowed. Go
to the Freight Depot, peel off a bar-coded sticker from
one of the crates and head back to the Cargo Freighter.
The robot picks you up and stuffs you in a ULD (Universal
Load Device). Place your fingers on the door jamb of the
ULD to prevent the door closing properly. This will break
your fingers but stop you suffocating. Put as much
padding around your body as possible to prevent being
killed by the G forces on take-off. The ride through sub-
space is hell but so long as you're lucky and you manage
to keep hold of your identity (keep repeating, 'I am
Maurice Mayday, I am Maurice Mayday'), you should just
about survive.
Scene 6 : The London Underground
When you arrive on Earth, stay in the ULD. After several
days, a robotruck offloads you and you are transported
halfway around the world to London. The journey takes two
days and is uncomfortable but generally not fatal. You
end up in an underground depot.
Leave the ULD and sneak through the nearest air duct.
You must time this right as the ducts are flushed with
disinfecting chemicals every half hour. It's best to wait
until five minutes after the next flushing to give you
maximum time and allow the fumes to subside to non-lethal
levels. At the end of the duct, you find a grille. On
the other side, you see Knightsbridge Station. Wait until
nightfall when there is no-one around. Remember, if you
are caught without a ticket on the London Underground, you
can be executed on the spot for fare evasion.
When the coast is clear, remove the grill and drop
fifteen feet to the platform below. Try not to fall off
the platform as the lines carry 150,000 volts at all
times. Walk to the end of the platform furthest from the
exit. There is an old door here which is protected by an
electric proximity field. It hasn't been used for years
and - like most of the London Underground - is in a poor
state of repair. The ep-field batteries have not been
recharged in living memory and have run down considerably.
Force the door open and dive through. You receive a
momentary blast of about 150 volts which should no more
than stun you. If you become unconscious try to come too
as quickly as possible, otherwise you will be eaten by
mutant rats. Watching out for said rats, climb the spiral
staircase to surface level. Their are 762 steps to
negotiate, so pace yourself.
At the surface, stay out of sight. If you are spotted
by the police, you will be arrested for vagrancy and very
likely have an unfortunate accident on the way to the
police station. Paramedics are equally dangerous. They
will drug you and remove all your vital organs for
transplants. And then there are the street gangs...
Make your way along Picadilly to Earth Central. Your
journey is almost over.
Scene 7 : Earth Central
The parties who have been trying to prevent you reaching
Earth have spies and assassins all around Earth Central.
How you get into the building without being seen and
killed is up to you. No specific advise can be given on
this matter as circumstances vary. You could try
disguising yourself as a service droid.
In Earth Central, bluff your way up to the Security
Directorate on the fifth floor where you are overpowered
by a Security Drone. Explain to the Drone that you are on
a secret mission. The Drone asks you for a password and
at this point you realise that you have forgotten it. The
drone carts you off to an interrogation room and plugs you
into an tormentotron. The next few hours are exquisite
agony.
Eventually, the Duty Officer comes by and decides
there is no point keeping you alive. When he turns off
the tormentotron, you have about five seconds before he
uses his laser pistol and reduces you to ash. Say in a
very clear voice, 'I AM MAURICE MAYDAY'. He asks you for
the password and this time you remember it.
The Duty Officer makes you a cup of tea and gets a
doctor to examine you. It comes as no surprise to you
when the doctor pronounces you more dead than alive. He
confirms that you have a microchip in your brain. It is a
matter of vital importance that the chip is removed
immediately but the doctor announces that you will not
survive an anaesthetic. There is no option but to operate
on you while you are conscious.
They strap you back into the tormentotron but this time
- much to your relieve - they do not switch it on. A
surgeo-droid is called for and duly arrives. In a few
brisk moves, the droid lasers a circle around your scalp
and removes the top part of your skull. It then whisks
out the microchip and glues your skull back together
again. There is little pain and you suffer no more than a
thumping headache.
The chip contains all the information needed to defeat
the enemies of humanity. Hoorah! The human race is saved
and you are a hero.
They carry you off to the sick bay. As soon as you are
able, slip out of your bed and dive down the nearest
laundry chute. This will take you back to the real world
where you will be debriefed by the MMD Design Team.
GAME OVER.
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